Basement postage.

I think there are moments when you realize that you are growing up.

maybe I'll experience them the rest of my life. I dont really know.

I do, however, know that life is composed of these moments that show us the fabric of our making.

When I was a senior in high school, my best friend had a boyfriend who was one of those guys that you thought might be really kind and nice but as it turned out he was an ass. He was a year older than us and changed when he went to college, he broke her heart and the breakup happened around may. I remember I picked her up and we drove around our small town in oklahoma. We listened to Barnes first version of graces amazing hands(on repeat) the whole night and when I hear that song today I still think of that night. We went to this park and sat under a Gazebo and talked about it for a couple hours and then we started laughing till our sides ached. A couple friends of ours came by and we sat there in the dark together. Eventually everything got pretty quiet and we all sat with our own thoughts and kind of let the silence settle between us.


My first year in college was like a thunderstorm, loud and quiet, peaceful and unnerving all at once. My second semester more than anything. I lived in a girl dorm and became good friends with a lot of the girls on the first floor. Everyone was kind of going through hard things and there was this one time when one of my friends and I went on a walk together just to get a breather. There is a street in nashville that runs past belmont. Its lined with houses with these huge trees, its a perfect walking street. I remember we both didn't know each other that well and we kind of exploded with these stories that were going on in our life and on our way back we stopped inside a church that should have been locked, but wasn't. We went inside and sat in the pews. We must of stayed there for a couple hours playing on the piano and talking about Jesus and how we really didn't understand him half the time. I remember not feeling alone for the first time in a really long time and it was this warm feeling that reminded me what it means to be a human.

The other day I was visiting my friend. She has a small child, a little boy. He was running in and out of the house; to the kitchen then to the porch and back again like his actions were on repeat. we were talking casually in the kitchen and he fell coming into the house. It was really sad actually. She didn't quite see his face because her back was to the door. His little eyes looked at me and quickly filled with these huge alligator tears and as soon as she heard him fall....she quickly without finishing her sentence walked over, sat on the ground... at his level and scooped him into her arms. She rocked back and forth began talking to him in a voice that only he could hear. He just laid there for a few moments and let her hold him. Then he opened his eyes and smiled at her and went on playing. She picked up her sentence where she left it and we kept talking. That night, I was driving home and that image kept replaying in my head. It was as if some hope inside me believes that God is like that.

Moments just happen to us. They shape us in the weirdest ways. They can come while you are standing in line to get coffee or while your brushing your teeth at night. It can be in a word or a hug, and something inside you shifts. Its like a constant shaping. All of a sudden our eyes are open to the humanity inside of us and we can feel these movements going on, its really weird, painful, and beautiful... all at the same time.

I hope they keep coming.